Lessons Worth Learning
- Created on Sunday, 17 May 2015 19:00
By Jim Whiddon
“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life, as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
– Booker T. Washington
Occasionally, I will read a biography worth passing along to my kids. And, knowing how hesitant they are to read an assignment not given to them by their teacher, I often summarize the book to make sure they internalize at least the main concepts. I recently did just that for a spectacular biography of Booker T. Washington, “Then Darkness Fled” by Stephen Mansfield.
Before I began Mansfield’s book, I knew little about Washington’s life. So I was quickly struck by the hardships he faced as a young boy and a slave (Washington was just 8 years old when the Civil War started). Yet, the quality of his upbringing and his strength of character are equally remarkable. What can we learn from his life worthy of passing along to our kids and grandkids? Here are three lessons:
1. It Takes Hard Work and Planning to Succeed
Washington’s family could not survive, materially, unless he worked. As a young boy, this meant laboring at a salt furnace. Mansfield writes:
“Salt was drawn from wells drilled deep in the earth to tap pools of salt water. This water was then pumped to the surface, boiled, dried, and packed in barrels. It was to this agonizing work that Booker, his stepfather, and his brother John were forced to devote nearly every waking hour. Arriving at work as early as four in the morning, the team of three shoveled salt into barrels and packed them tight until they reached the prescribed weight. It was gritty, stinging work and it scarcely provided enough for the family to live.”
Yet Washington longed for something more, and he pestered his mother to obtain just one book for him. When, against every obstacle, she handed him a Webster “blue-backed” speller, he was beside himself. His quest for learning had begun. Washington eventually was given a chance to attend school at 9:00 each morning – provided he still worked in the salt furnace from 4:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. This extraordinary discipline led eventually to a notable event on July 4, 1881.
At the age of 25, Washington founded the Tuskegee Institute. He launched his dream with no money, no faculty, no campus, no land and no student body. But he was determined to raise up a new generation of leaders from the rubble of the South.
Washington was “a master at devising a plan and harnessing people and resources to accomplish it,” according to Mansfield. And by his death in 1915, Tuskegee had grown to a 2,000-acre campus with 107 buildings, more than 1,500 students and nearly 200 faculty members.
2. Wisdom + Mentors = Success
Washington found that students at many universities mastered Hebrew and Greek but were unprepared for “life and its conditions as they would meet it at their homes.” Other students were “better dressed, wore the latest style of all manner of clothing, and in some cases were more brilliant mentally.” But to him they seemed “less self-dependent,” giving “more attention to mere outward appearances.”
What they needed, Washington knew, was wisdom. They required a practical skill for living, which must be passed from generation to generation. And he knew that demanded mentors to facilitate the transfer of knowledge and its practice. He said, “The older I grow, the more I am convinced that there is no education which one can get from books and costly apparatus that is equal to that which can be gotten from contact with great men and women.”
He concluded that it is not enough to teach the masses. They must have heroes, specifically men and women placed before them who model the qualities that mean liberation. Tuskegee, then, had to be more than an industrial school. For Washington, it needed to become “a training ground for heroes, a factory for champions.”
3. A Cause Bigger Than Ourselves
Finally, Washington challenged his students to invest in causes bigger than themselves. He said, “In order to be successful in any kind of undertaking, I think the main thing is for one to grow to the point where he completely forgets himself; that is, to lose himself in a great cause.”
There is perhaps no better example of Washington’s dedication to this principle than in the humility he showed daily, as demonstrated by the following encounter. Mansfield writes:
“Once when Booker was staying in a Des Moines hotel, a woman guest mistook him for a porter and asked him to fetch her drink of water. Washington was at that moment a leading educator, an internationally renowned author, an adviser to governments, and arguably the most famous black man in the world having been the first to dine in the White House and have tea with the Queen of England. But he didn’t hesitate. He immediately went to the hotel’s front desk to ask for the water. He felt no offense because true humility removes the sting of the common.”
I suspect the woman in this story never knew of this act of humility.
Perhaps you, like me, are facing a season of milestones this spring. I have two high school seniors and one college senior all graduating within 36 hours of each other. As I ponder what lessons I might like to accompany them to the next stage of their lives, perhaps these would offer much instruction and encouragement:
Work hard and have a plan.
Seek wisdom and wise counselors.
It’s better to be a small part of a big cause than a big part of a small one.
Be humble by serving others.
This seems like a pretty good short list. However, I’ll add one last nugget of wisdom that Washington often shared: “Dreams transform reality.”
May it always be so for our children and their children as well.
Copyright © 2015, The BAM ALLIANCE. This material and any opinions contained are derived from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy and the opinions based thereon are not guaranteed. The content of this publication is for general information only and is not intended to serve as specific financial, accounting or tax advice. To be distributed only by a Registered Investment Advisor firm. Information regarding references to third-party sites: Referenced third-party sites are not under our control, and we are not responsible for the contents of any linked site or any links contained in a linked site, or any changes or updates to such sites. Any link provided to you is only as a convenience, and the inclusion of any link does not imply our endorsement of the site.
Don’t Force Decisions; Just Back Off and Adjust. Or Go for a Walk
- Created on Sunday, 17 May 2015 19:00
By Carl Richards
I love rock climbing. Looking from the ground up, it seems almost impossible for climbers to balance themselves and find handholds where none seem to exist.
And sure enough, even the most talented climbers can end up getting stuck on climbs well below their skill level. I’ve done it, and I’ve seen it happen to other climbers, too. But the fact that the next move feels so hard, like we need to force it, means we’re missing something. In other words, there must be a handhold we just haven’t seen yet.
When I get stuck, I try to relax and take a step back. This small pause helps me refocus, and I usually end up seeing a handhold I overlooked. I compare these moments with the resistance we sense when we try to turn a bolt, and it just won’t go.
We could apply more force, believing that sheer strength will do the job. In reality, we’re seconds away from what’s referred to as cross threading, or stripping, the bolt. If that happens, the bolt is ruined. In theory, the bolt is designed to line up perfectly with the hole or nut. We don’t need force. So if we’re wise, we’ll back the bolt out, double check the alignment and try it again.
We’re tempted to use that same brute force when we’re pursuing financial success. We all probably know at least a few people (maybe it’s you) who forced themselves into a particular career. Parents, peers or even our own internal voices convinced us that being a lawyer, for example, was the path to wealth and happiness.
So we force ourselves through law school. We may even pass the bar exam. But it never feels natural. It seems like we’re compelled to live someone else’s life.
We’ve probably all felt this way in some form or another. And we do it for what? To live someone else’s definition of a successful life? Of course, a few of us might manage to have a 40-year career, but for many of us, we’ll break if we try to live a life based on force.
Recently, I was talking to a friend who has built a really successful business. He told me that all of his biggest mistakes were the result of trying to force something. Instead of pulling back and refocusing, he’d try to push his way through the situation. In contrast, his biggest successes happened when he gave himself time to find a better way forward.
What if we start to practice a different reaction to resistance? After all, resistance doesn’t imply that we can’t reach our desired goals. It simply means we haven’t found the best option — yet. Why not give ourselves time to identify and evaluate all our choices?
Writers stumbled on to this trick a long time ago. Throughout history, we’ve heard the stories of how writers used walking to help work through new ideas and deal with writer’s block. They could continue to stare at the screen (or the page) and attempt to force the words into sentences. But why force the words when a simple walk can reveal another path? Imagine how many fewer books would line the shelves if writers relied only on force.
I’m curious to see what would happen if more of us approached life thinking like a writer. We would still commit to finding a way forward, but like a bolt that just won’t turn, we may need an adjustment. We can’t make that adjustment, however, if we don’t stop with the force.
This commentary originally appeared April 27 on NYTimes.com
Copyright © 2015, The BAM ALLIANCE. This material and any opinions contained are derived from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy and the opinions based thereon are not guaranteed. The content of this publication is for general information only and is not intended to serve as specific financial, accounting or tax advice. To be distributed only by a Registered Investment Advisor firm. Information regarding references to third-party sites: Referenced third-party sites are not under our control, and we are not responsible for the contents of any linked site or any links contained in a linked site, or any changes or updates to such sites. Any link provided to you is only as a convenience, and the inclusion of any link does not imply our endorsement of the site.
Looking Inward to Determine Your Financial Values
- Created on Sunday, 10 May 2015 19:00
By Carl Richards
I’ve been surprised by a lot of things as a financial adviser. One of the biggest surprises has ended up playing a critical role in my development: the process of self-examination.
It has mattered both professionally and personally, and it should to you too. Yet hardly anyone openly talks about the need to get really clear with ourselves in an attempt to understand why do we do what we do with our money. And this avoidance is an enormous mistake.
But it’s also an error we can correct any time we want by getting clear about our values. Asking a few, simple questions can help reveal what matters most:
- Why is money important to you?
- Why do you spend the way you do?
- Why do you invest the way you do?
These questions help reveal what I call our financial values, or maybe even more accurately, our life values. If you don’t have answers to these questions, dig deeper. For instance, if you don’t understand why your money is invested in a certain way, ask more questions. Whose advice are you taking? What advice have you ignored, and why? The best investments for you need to be based on your own goals and values.
Use these answers as a starting point to discover how you really spend both your time and your money (and spend your time in pursuit of more money, as the case may be). Does your behavior really match up with what you said was most important?
Fair warning: The first time through this process can be scary, possibly painful. We may learn of inconsistencies between what we say that we value and what we actually do. Even now, after going through this process many times, I still find myself spending time and money on things that don’t match my values. So, this first time through, don’t be shocked if you discover there’s little overlap between what you say you value and what your actions and time charts actually reflect.
We aren’t going through this process to be judgmental. The goal also isn’t to beat ourselves up for what we aren’t doing. Instead, as a part of this process, we’re going to learn to say, “Isn’t that interesting?”
Our goal is to uncover those moments when the way we spend our time and money don’t align with our values. We don’t need to get mad. We’re just going to notice.
As we notice, keep two things in mind. First, maybe what we said was important to us, and what we really believed was important to us, isn’t that important. I’ve seen many instances where someone was convinced they valued something a lot, but it turned out they were relying on someone else’s values, like their community or their parents.
For years, my friend Dallas Hartwig kept telling himself that he really valued buying a home. He had convinced himself that he valued the security he associated with owning a house. He had the resources, but he kept making decisions that didn’t get him any closer to obtaining this thing he thought he valued.
After he took the time to notice and to ask questions, he finally realized that he valued flexibility and freedom more than security. Buying a home turned out to be someone else’s value. Letting go gave him the freedom to weigh his choices against his real values.
Second, we’re never done making changes to align our behavior with our values. Going through this process doesn’t transform us into perfect people. We’re still human, and we’re never going to get it exactly right.
And that’s O.K. Over time, the process of reviewing our values and noticing our behavior can help us get closer to alignment. We are works in progress.
The alternative is the path too many of us take, chasing after random prescriptions for our financial lives and telling ourselves that we’ve got it all figured out. Or we could take a deep breath and ask “Why?” Only then can we weigh if what we’re doing aligns with the things we say matter most to us, or if we need to make some changes.
This commentary originally appeared April 20 on NYTimes.com
Copyright © 2015, The BAM ALLIANCE. This material and any opinions contained are derived from sources believed to be reliable, but its accuracy and the opinions based thereon are not guaranteed. The content of this publication is for general information only and is not intended to serve as specific financial, accounting or tax advice. To be distributed only by a Registered Investment Advisor firm. Information regarding references to third-party sites: Referenced third-party sites are not under our control, and we are not responsible for the contents of any linked site or any link contained in a linked site, or any changes or updates to such sites. Any link provided to you is only as a convenience, and the inclusion of any link does not imply our endorsement of the site.